Day Six

The rain sluiced over the world and washed the heat from the day as if magic, leaving the scent of bruised leaves and wet grass behind. I spent some time with a good friend tonight, both of us raising teenagers, and talked about responsibility. How you raise a child today with this enigma of an idea that everyone talks about but our headlines are full of the blatant missing of such. There is a vacuum. However, earlier today another friend posted a video which literally caused my heart to pause. It's about the difference between fault and responsibility. I did try valiantly (with my limited chicken pecking skills) but could not isolate it to post a link to it (outside of fb which I know many of my readers do not partake in) but I actually listened to it six times and transcribed it so I could print it out...I kept trying to brush the tears away while I typed. This was what it said:

It doesn’t matter whose fault it is if something is broken – if it’s your responsibility to fix it. It’s not your fault if your father was an abusive alcoholic, but it’s your responsibility to figure out what to do with the trauma and make a life out of it. It’s not your fault if your partner cheated on you – but it’s for damn sure your responsibility to find a way to overcome that pain and build a happy life for yourself. Fault and responsibility do not go together.

It sucks; when something is somebody's fault, we want them to suffer, to pay, we want it to be their responsibility to fix it – but that’s not how it works. Your heart, your life, your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone. As long as you are stuck in pointing the finger and stuck in whose fault something is, you are trapped in victim mode. Power is taking responsibility.  

Your heart, your life, your happiness is your responsibility

 and your responsibility alone.

Wrongs are done. Tragedy comes dished out in this life right alongside breathtaking joy. You will be hurt. I have been hurt. But the result, the end of that chapter, the what-we-do-with-it and how-we-choose and intention above instinct...this is our marrow. 

I am responsible. 


(video credit to Will Smith & NewYou)